Knowing Is Not Always Enough
We’ve all heard the saying, “If only I knew then what I know now…” Sometimes, however, knowledge is not enough. After ending a marriage, we may question ourselves more specifically. “If only I knew what I needed to do to have made the changes that I needed, to have done things differently to have affected my life, to have done things better to have affected my children’s lives.” How do you make these changes, the sweeping changes that are sometimes painful? What many of us don’t know is that the idea of change is not enough. Real change involves more than just the desire to bring it about. In order for real change to take place, Knowing, Doing and Feeling have to coexist.
It is not enough to know. If you know what you need to do, but can’t do it, you give it up. If you know and can do it, but your feelings are not compatible, forget it. It doesn’t work.
Working together in counseling will help you gain the skills and knowledge and ability to help integrate knowing, doing and feeling in order to create a bridge of change which will not necessarily be easy, but will enable you to cross over to a better way for your future and your children’s future. We can not only deal with what we know can be good for you and your children and aid in skill development, but also be able to attend to the kinds of feeling changes that have to be made in order to be compatible with what you know and what you may have to do.
You pay a price, and your children pay a price when what you know and what you feel and what you do are not compatible. After a divorce, your world changes, and you need to make certain changes that will enable you and your children not only to adjust, but also to thrive. Change is not sustainable if these three things are not working together. It can still be hard. Sometimes, your children have to learn the same perspective, and you need to help them get on board, as well. Counseling makes it possible for you and your children to cross over the bridge.